Dearest Bugsley

My dearest Bugsley;

It`s come time for mommy to send you yet another gentle reminder on life...

I know how much you love your Nintendo DS, and mommy loves it too...a lot...it is her salvation following a long day, however, that being said, I do not, repeat, do not like to play it.  I do not understand your games, and the more you scream, regardless of the decibal level, my ability to play does not improve immediately.  I am sorry you do not understand this. 

Bugsley, midnight is not a cool time for bedtime.  Mommy doesn`t like it when she is in bed and asleep before you are.  I know that you cannot go anywhere, nor do anything without me, however, I do not like to sleep with one eye open.  I much prefer them both closed.  Fully.   When you have children, you will realize how vital sleep really is.  And until then, maybe the days that you are tired, I will remind you what it is like to be kept awake....or maybe not.

At the age of 4, you are the most emotional I have ever seen you...the crying attacks because we park in the parkade do nothing to make me happy...in fact, they do the opposite.  Please heed my advice - deal with the fact that we do not park above ground, or I will leave you there while I park underground.  The waterworks also do not increase my DS ability.  I`m sorry to have to tell you that. 

Now, I know you love to kiss....and kiss, and kiss and kiss and kiss.  The fish lip pucker is great, but please, wipe the excess saliva from your lips prior to kissing me.  Please.  I don`t like gobby, drooly, sloppy kisses.  Nor will your wife.  I tell you this, only to keep you from embarrassment in your future.  Trust me.  I have yet to meet a person that likes a gooey kiss.  Please take note of that.

Bugsley, I love you to bits, but please take note of my advice.  I do not play DS nor will I learn in a 30 second window.  I love your kisses, but don`t like the drool.  The crying is ok...when you are hurt, but please not for no good reason.  It hurts mommy`s head.

Love always,

Mommy