3 going on 16

My Darling Nolan,

It has been a long while since I have written a letter to you...but following this morning's episode, I feel like I should...

Let me explain...

I know you love Rosie...

Frankly, I would much rather lose my wallet and have my identity stolen than lose that stupid otter (may I throw out, Thanks Uncle Brad...next time, can you buy him something that he doesn't get so attached to!!!)...

Anyways...while I was standing in the bathroom, trying to make my sleep-wrinkled face look presentable enough for work, which I obviously didn't do very well at (eek!!), you felt as though you needed to smack me with Rosie...Not cool Bug, not cool....Granted, you have pulled out her whiskers, so they no longer feel like litte daggers digging into my skin, but her beady little eyes...yeah, they are marbles...or something of the sort.  Some child safe toy I imagine...

I threatened to take Rosie away....your retort...

"I have more energy, so I can run faster faster faster from you"

Say what???

Granted, you do have more energy...but did you just say that you can run from me??  Oh no you dinnt....I realize I haven't been to the gym in a while...okay a long while...okay, a long long long time....okay okay...i'm sure I would get lost on my way there, I don't know if I still know the way anymore...but really...you don't run from your mom (Mom, I am so so so so so so so sorry if I ever said I can out run you...granted I probably could...Bahahahaha...love you!!)...Mom's always win...don't they...

Anyways...You went and sat on the living room floor while I did my hair. I made the mistake of looking your direction...

"why you wooking at me....?"....

And this part I am not making up, I swear....

I quote....

"Mom...you wook at me, you killing my energy."

W.T.F......

Killing your energy????!!!

No Bug...Killing your energy is when you are 16 and groping your girlfriend and I walk in...killing your energy is when you can't have the car to go on a date...killing your energy is when you come home loaded and barf on my floor, and I make you clean it...with YOUR toothbrush!!!

Killing your energy is not asking you to get dressed.

*sigh*

Sincerely,

Your ever lovin',

ever frustrated,

Mommy